Many years ago I completed the self-assesment called "Clifton StrengthFinders" - it was a revleation to me for many reasons. One that stands out is the realization that one of my "Talents" is Empathy.
As a kid, I was more a an introvert (still am really) and while I couldn't define it I knew I was more empathetic thant other kids. I can remember experiencing the hurt of others (feeling it in my innermost being) and wondering why others didn't.
Moving to now, as a lead, I have been working to develop this Talent into a "Strength" (as defined by StrenghtFinders as "...the ability to consistently provide near-perfect performance in a specific activity.") Ans what I am finding is that as I trust my ability to be empathetic I see some wonderful qualities being highlighted too.
I am more curious about others. I ask as many questions as I can and look for common ground where I can develop connections with others.
Which is #2, I find common ground. I work to create connections between myself and other, but more between other people. There is nothing more satisfying than introducing two people and sharing their common interest and then watching the conversation develop.
I work hard to really listen. People often share they think I am a good listener. I work hard at it and often catch myself wandering during a conversation - only to quickly try and pull myself back into the conversation.
Even as I grow older my imagination continues to grow too. It seems we often equate youth with a vibrant imagination, but I find it is a wonderful place to be creative, think, ponder questions and find out-of-the-box solutions.
Finally, and this has always been the most difficult for me: I am becoming more comfortable with being vulnerable. Especially as a man, the expectation to be "strong" is sometimes seen as not "showing your soft parts," keep protected, and don't give away too much. Being vulnerable is scary. But I am realizing this is an essential quality if I am to realize all this life has for me to discover and feel.
Sometimes, as leaders, we are often told - you just need to be more empathetic with little or no help in how to do it! So, I offer these as starting points from someone who has been practicing for some time.
I also found a great little article that exactly parallels my experience with more insight points I am pondering. On the GapingVoid Culture Design website they shared this beauty of a graphic as well as this other quality: challenging prejudice.
Considering our current environment this one will be important to develop and grow.
What is amazing to me id the more I practice these the better leader I become and the quicker I forgive. The GapingVoid article refers to a quote by David Ogilvy:
one of the greatest assets a leader can have is the power of forgiveness
I believe this and have seen this in action. As leader it is essential I quickly forgive and help the team heal so we can be stronger. We are all human. We all make mistakes. Especially me. Some of my closest relationships were born out of conflict and difficult times where either I or the other person (or both of us) forgave.
Want to be a leader? Be ready to forgive. And developing empathy is an important step in that direction.
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